


Unraveling

by ShadowSpires



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Afterlife, Angst, Grief, M/M, Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 11:40:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13763358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowSpires/pseuds/ShadowSpires
Summary: He marched on in blood andnoandwhat have we done.He marched ahead in fire andfinallyandKix!





	Unraveling

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by @latenightcornerstore‘s poem:   
> _sext: you moan my name in your sleep and I unravel into nothing but a gasp in the dark._

He marched on in blood and _no_ and _what have we done._ He marched ahead in fire and _finally_ and _Kix!_   
  
He marched ahead, but not away. Waiting, waiting, because Kix wasn’t waiting for him. Kix would have been waiting for him!  
  
That could only mean he was behind. That Jesse had abandoned him. He hadn’t looked hard enough, long enough, far enough.

  
He had thought his _riduur_ was dead. Sure, in the aftermath of the chaos, Tup going mad and Fives being killed -- and Fives had been _right_ , but they all found out too _late_ \-- that his husband was _gone._ Jesse had been sure Kix was dead, but he isn’t _here,_ he isn’t waiting hasn't marched ahead.    
  
Jesse waits and waits and waits in the blue haze of nothing, as brothers pass him by. A flood, a trickle, a last burst of them in an explosion he can almost see. Then only in ones and twos, and Kix would hate that, being the last. It was always one of his fears, Jesse knew, and _where is he?_   
  
He should be here, he would be here, but Jesse _can’t find him._ The brothers who attention he catches, desperate, for bare instants before they march away to whatever is waiting for them can’t tell him, no one _knows_!

_Kix, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to leave you all alone!_

There is nothing but haze and the chaotic impressions of years without ceasing, too many, far too many, all alone — Kix, _Kix where are you?_ — until finally —   
  
_JESSE!_  
  
— and he’s in a cabin on a ship, the lines are strange and unfamiliar, changed oddly in subtle ways, but none of that matters, nothing at all matters, because that is _Kix,_ Kix sitting upright in the bunk,  -- his hair all grown out, worse dark circles under his eyes than any time in the _war_   but Jesse would know his Kixysticks _anywhere_ , in blood and battle and the endless dark --  hand outstretched like he’s reaching out to Jesse, his name on familiar, beloved lips again after all these years, and Jesse reaches out, reaches for his _riduur_ , and —   
  
Nothing. Nothing, nothing, _nothing_ , and the cry is frozen and trapped in Jesse’s throat. No touch, no sensation of steady medic’s fingers on his, just empty air and gasping sobs, as Kix crumbles in on himself, no one answering his cry.   
  
Alone, alone, he’s all alone, Jesse, _Jesse_.  
  
And all Jesse can do is watch and cry silent tears as his name dissolves into nothing but wrenching gasps in the dark.


End file.
